We've done this segment before, and I will say there have been points in the past where the Billboard Top 10 has been more disappointing. I do feel like we're on a little bit of a slight uptick here, but maybe a lot of that lays on the shoulders of one particular artist. Let's get into it.

#10 Olivia Rodrigo "Stupid Song"

Starting at number 10, boom! I'm going to sort of put up this little screenshot of Olivia Rodrigo's Stupid Song is at number 10.

I don't want to say one of the few because there's a lot of pop albums I've been loving this year. But I think right now this is really sort of really my pop album of the year. I don't think a pop album in my mind is beating this record in 2026. It's so well produced. It's so well written. It's so thoughtful. It's so conceptual. And there are numerous amazing highlights off of it that to me are downright addictive, and Stupid Song is one of those tracks.

I'm not surprised that this song has been getting the incredible. play that it has been throughout the year and is still like holding strong in the charts because it's just a goddamn good song. It's just infectious. I love the strings. I love the way the kind of instrumentation breaks away, and you have Olivia's voice before the chorus really kind of goes full on. It's just a great pop song. It's ornate. It's beautiful. It's lovely. And it's clever. It's clever as well. It's witty. Olivia and Dan killed it once again on this record. I don't know if there's much else you can say.

I mean, as far as like top 10 goes, as far as top 40 goes, looking at the list right now, a little bit of a spoiler. There's not a song in the top 10 right now that I like more than this. So I don't know. I'm just putting it in S. I'm just putting it in the S.

#9 Adela - "Nicole Kidman"

Adela with Nicole Kidman, a track off of her new Prima record, which honestly, when I heard it, I was not super impressed. Not that there was anything about the album upon first listen that like struck me as like, oh, this is terrible or this album is like fatally flawed, but there wasn't really anything about it musically, lyrically, sonically that was really pulling me in. Right now at number nine stands this Nicole Kidman song, which I know I've heard it in passing. I know I've streamed it at least a few times, but I still can't recall it. But I do see a lot of people still to this day talking about it on social media. Like it's one of their biggest bangers of the year.

So let me sample this again and give some thoughts because I just haven't really talked that much about Adela throughout the year. And again, I sort of put that mostly on there not being enough in the music, at least when I heard it enough to pull me into the point where I feel like dissecting it, you know? So let me spin this again and see what's going on.

There's just not a whole lot vocally about it that stands out to me. But with that being said, it is super familiar. I'm kind of surprised that this is doing so well right now because to me, this, this song, this vibe feels like a bit of a, a bygone era at this point. This feels like first, second album era Doja Cat. This feels like "thank you, next" Ariana. Like just a very mid paced, slow Southern hip hop beat and then some chipmunk soul samples in the background. Then you have like that kind of sweet, girly, low-key crooned lead vocal. And to me, the only thing that's like even remotely catchy about it are those soul samples. Then on top of it, you have kind of the funny little cultural name drops of Nicole Kidman and the, the, boobs line and so on and so forth, which are cute, which are flirty, which are playful. But I feel like I've heard that sort of thing done better before.

This feels like the vestiges of how pop used to sound like around 2017, 18, 19. But yeah, this is okay. I'm not offended by it. It just feels like a paler version of things I have enjoyed. So I don't know. I, I feel like a C on this. I'm not crazy about this track, it's like fine.

#8 Tame Impala - "Dracula (JENNIE Remix)"

Next in the list, we have talked about this song before in these segments. This would be a "Dracula," the one track off that last Tame Impala album that I thought was actually pretty good, but this is the JENNIE version, which to me sounds just pointless. There's nothing that this version brings to the song that the original didn't already have. I just don't think JENNIE brings anything to the song. It doesn't make the song more interesting. In fact, I think it makes it more boring. I think I felt like this is a D before I'm still putting it in the D. Is this also C? I don't know. We can go CD with it. I suppose. I am blown away.

#7 Morgan Wallen - "Been By Now"

I'm blown away that "Been By Now" is still holding strong in the top 10. This has to be Morgan Wallen's blandest song. Like this is blander and more boring and more forgettable than any of the songs on his big ass, long ass, bloated ass album One Thing At A Time, that that album itself like should be in the trash bin. But there are like a few annoying, cliche earworms on there that I could see being appealing. I don't see the appeal behind "Been By Now" at all.

I just really, truly do not. This is just a boring, trash ass song. It sounds AI. In fact, I feel like one of the worst things about this song is that if AI replaces musicians and replaces us, musically speaking, humanity that is, it's going to be because of songs like this, because if, if this is what songwriting is, if this is what successful commercial songwriting is, we're fucked, or at least the mainstream is because Suno and UDO could poop out a million of these in, in a matter of minutes.

You're telling me this is like the standard for successful commercial human songwriting right now, we've got to put this in the F.

#6 Stella Lefty - "Boston"

Another song that I want out of my face, "Boston," Stella lefty, still annoying, still derivative, still makes little to no sense. Still a fake, country twang and affectation, still boring lyrics, still just essentially, and still a ripoff song of the sweet, baby boy, Noah Khan.

I want to stop seeing it. It's a completely trite song. Can we just put it in the E row and also get rid of it? Can we do a cutoff where we just stop listening to songs that are under C tier please? The top 10 is still a pretty dismal at the moment.

#5 Taylor Swift - "Patient Zero"

Yes, Taylor Swift, "Patient Zero". I'm not completely negative on the encore material of Life of a Showgirl, but this song is just a complete bore, a complete snooze, and honestly, writing wise, one of her most underwhelming in a long time.

The chorus does not really snap all that hard. In addition to that, I, I feel like she's written a very similar boring narrative before, about like, "I've moved on from this guy and now you're with him and oh, let me tell you about him, honey." It's just so boring. I'm just so over it, I mean, I suppose there are some songs on Life of a Showgirl that are far worse, like "Canceled" is way worse.

So I mean, it's not a song I find offensive, but I'm just kind of shocked that out of the four songs that came with the encore, this was the track that was chosen to be the single, and the one that we have to press millions of CDs of and and sell exclusively directly to the fans when it's like hardly the best song of the four that were added to the album. It's not even close to one of the better songs from the Life of a Showgirl era.

It's like very, very, very mid tier. So I'm just, I'm putting it in D.

#4 Zach Bryan - "Lies" (feat. Lana Del Ray)

This says, has been on the charts for one week. It is entering at number four and comes off of a recent EP that I reviewed on the channel. That would be the track "Lies" the interesting and surprising collab between none other than Zach Bryan and Lana Del Rey. Interesting that the track commercially is taking off as much as it is.

As I said, my review, I do appreciate Zach and Lana's vocal chemistry. I do appreciate it on this song. I think vocally they make sense together.

I think they complement each other in a lot of ways, but as a practice of songwriting, this is just a very basic, bland, almost Lewis Capaldi type piano tune. Like the chords are so bare and uninteresting. The melodies are just not very, sticky melodically at all. I do think there is kind of like an appealing, somber, demeanor to the track, given Zach and Lana's respective kind of performance styles. But beyond that, it's just a very okay tune. I wish the writing were more interesting and more thoughtful and that they had spent more time on the writing and maybe came up with something melodically or chord or structure wise that was a bit more unique to the song and unique to them instead of just kind of landing on the most agreeable set of chords that we've heard a million times before. So I mean, it's okay. It's passable. It's fine.

I can sort of like get why it's commercially successful from the standpoint of its hype, but I would be kind of surprised if this one had a whole lot of lasting power because there's not a lot of, I think, pop appeal in this song, in my opinion.

#3 Olivia Rodrigo - "expectations" (feat. Chappell Roan)

Now this track, which we are now hearing a new version of, it's been on the charts for 19 weeks, but again, this new version is kind of causing it to, rocket up to it's peak position now. That would be the song "expectations" from Olivia Rodrigo's new album.

This is the version with Chappell Roan, which is a very cute, very entertaining, very fun. Chappell coming in adds a nice little extra vocal dynamic to it. They kind of play with the gender dynamics of the lyrics a little bit too, which is cute. Again, I feel like, as opposed to the JENNIE version of "Dracula," by Tame Impala. I feel like Chappell coming in actually adds to this new version of the song.

Like there are reasons to listen to this version as opposed to the other because it says different things. It does different things. Chappell changes the vibe of the song enough to where each version of the song has its own appeal. So I would put this one in the a, I mean, it was a great song already, but I feel like the Chappell edition makes it that much more fun and exciting.

#2 Tate McRae - "Housewife"

Entering at number two, we have Tate McRae's "Housewife". I heard this track and didn't really like it on new music Friday, but damn entering number two?? I feel like I need to sample this again because I need to remind myself of what the hubbub is all about.

Like now I'm recalling like that the verse melody just feels so first album work, sort of like "born to die" era Lana to me all over again. I wouldn't say it's trad wife music because she's talking about being her own housewife. She's talking about not being dependent on a man. Like literally it literally it's the opposite.

She's talking about making enough money and being so independent and self-sufficient. She doesn't need a man, which the messaging and the aspirational sort of like energy and narrative of the song is not bad. Just once again, I find kind of this weird, quiet, hushed baby voiced croon delivery that has been very hot and ushered in within mainstream pop music for years now, at this point, it lays and it sort of hits my ears in a very flat way.

I feel like if somebody is really going to kind of sell me on this sort of delivery, the production or the songwriting has to be a lot more interesting. I think there's some artists who do work well within that space because the production does step up to the plate. The songwriting is still miraculously catchy, despite the very subtle and low key performance, Billie Eilish being one of the few names who I think does it super well. This track, however, to me just feels like diet Lana. It feels like very kind of toned down, very underwhelming.

And I'm not even really all that crazy about how kind of blown out and aggressive the drum sound against her voice and how much they have to stack her voice against that chorus against those kicks in order for it to not be completely buried in the mix because she is just singing so quietly. The song topic doesn't match the tones. Maybe? I guess I don't know. I guess in my own mind, I'm not sure what I would want a song saying like, I want to make my own money and be my own housewife. I don't know what instrumentally that would need to sound like, but you know, maybe given the chat earlier, presuming it's trad wife music, maybe there is a bit of separation between the delivery and the messaging and whether or not the message is like ringing through accurately. She sounds confused as to what a housewife is. Okay, listen, I mean, you can say a lot of and have a lot of criticisms of Tate McCrae, I think she knows what a housewife is. I think Tate McCrae knows.

I think the thing that Tate McCray doesn't know is how to write the most compelling pop music, though, you could also turn around and say, what do I know? The song is number two. It's clearly resonating with somebody. I think Tate is in an interesting space in where I think for years through Chappell and Olivia Rodrigo and Charli XCX and many other names that you could name, there has been a lot of pressure within pop music for everybody to sort of like come up with their own kind of bold, experimental, very sort of in your face style.

Tate McCrae, to me, is sort of like is a bit of a throwback to the Y2K pop era, not in a nostalgic way like you might hear on a Charli album, but almost in a kind of like, very kind of sleek sex appeal diva-pop sort of way where it's really her aura and presentation that sort of sells the music as opposed to, the music itself being predicated on trying to separate itself from every other thing that's out there, whatever the competition is. She reminds me of like a Britney or Christina Aguilera back in the day in terms of how palatable the music is. But I think that palatability also leads her to make melodic and production choices that are just very basic and very uninteresting and to me, a little stale. I think, this song is also kind of a signifier of that, even if it is like a well-structured track and I could kind of see why it's hitting for some people, but I don't know, I'm feeling like a C or a D on it.

#1 Ella Langley - "Choosin' Texas"

Finally, of course, at number one, because it's the longest running number one song of all fucking time. Goddammit, it's "Choosin' Texas". Taylor Swift could not keep it off the number one for too long. If you have not heard this song, it most likely is because you live outside of the United States. I feel like you need to know a little bit of something about Texas, in order for "Choosin' Texas" to resonate with you in any way. I think I put the song in the C tier before and I'll put it there again. It's fine, I feel like it's one of the more passable songs on the Ella Langley record, which I did review on my channel.

I feel like it's a passable album. There are some great highlights on there. There's some very bland cuts too. "Choosin' Texas" is one of those that instrumentally, I wish there was more to it, but in terms of the wordplay and how cute and sort of endearing it is overall, like I can see the appeal and I can see why it's doing well. It's like, one of those instances of the winner, the victor, which I, I feel like is much the case in the Billboard charts these days.

The victor is because of just how agreeable the song is, and there are people who I know and have spoken to aren't even country heads who listen to the song and are like, yeah, I can see why everybody's listening to it. It literally is just that palatable and that endearing of a song. It's making me feel like, man, why isn't there more love for Kacey Musgraves in the top 10? Because there were at least a several highlights off of her new record, which was definitely like a bit of a step up from her last album.

But there you go. That's the top 10 right now. According to me, you're obviously free to completely disagree with my assessments here, and that is gonna be that. Boom. There you go. Locked and loaded.