Hi, everyone. Kindthony Jacktano here, the internet's busiest music nerd. It's time for a review of this new Sabrina Carpenter album, Short n' Sweet.

Here we have a brand new album from pop singer and songwriter, Ms. Sabrina Carpenter, who is currently being lauded as this young exciting new face on the pop scene at the moment, though, in actuality, she has been at this for a minute. I mean, she's 25 and already has six entire albums under her belt. And all of these years of effort have pretty much led to her graduating into pop's major league. I mean, her last full-length LP Emails I Can't Send, did 18,000 first week, I believe.

But those days are pretty much over with Short n' Sweet and the numerous hit tracks off of it, especially "Espresso", bringing Sabrina 78 million Spotify listeners monthly due to its organic virality, but also various algorithms just shoving that track down everyone's throats. But yeah, that one has been massive as well as "Please, Please, Please". Tracks where Sabrina is really leaning into what makes her stand out as a pop artist and writer, her expressive and almost dainty vocal style, combined with lyrics that can run either silly and flirty or raunchy and maybe a little dark and self-effacing.

Because much of the time, Sabrina straddles this really interesting border between not taking herself too seriously, but simultaneously, a lot of the humor she incorporates into her music comes from a very frank and very sometimes tragic place, to the point where it doesn't always reflect as well on her as you would expect, given just how huge of a commercial success she's become over the past few years.

I mean, the level of growth Sabrina is at currently usually brings with it some personal filter when it comes to writing. But Sabrina did not enter the charts as that artist, and it's clear that even with the success of "Espresso", so she has no plans on changing that on Short n' Sweet. I mean, we are talking about someone who opened her last album with a ballad about her dad cheating on her mom.

But yeah, I would say this record lives up to its title at just 12 tracks and 36 minutes in length. And the flow of this record runs like a back and forth between intimate little acoustic numbers and summery fun, sexy pop hits. Sabrina has also narrowed down her production team a bit on this record, too, bringing back previous collaborators Julian Binetta as well as John Ryan, then adding into the fold pop heavy hitters and Kirk Patrick, as well as Jack Antonoff, who is everywhere.

So yeah, commercially speaking, Sabrina is clearly swinging for the fences on this record, and it sounds like it. I'm even actually impressed with "Espresso" hearing it in the context of the record. I was not crazy about it as a single, but it's clearly one of the best tracks here, and really one of the most supreme summer of 2024. The beat actually sounds more chillwave than I remember it originally when I first heard it. The whole thing sounds like a fuzzy, hypnagogic pop memory, but it doesn't sound like it's couched in any particular time period for pop music. I feel like Neon Indian or Washed Out could have produced this beat 10 years ago, but now it's just being used in a way that's so girly pop. Either way, there's nothing wrong with a sunny, sexy, nostalgic pop tune about lust and obsession with some of playful lyrics.

Personally, though, I think "Please, Please, Please" is an even bigger smash, though a very unlikely one with these thin sequenced beats as well as a very regal synth arpeggios, some soft acoustics, and almost whispery lead vocals. Sonically, it's not exactly jumping out at me, but I still found it to be alluring and equally catchy and funny, as Sabrina's gorgeous vocal harmonies carry this story about a guy who she's ashamed to be with. She even goes on to ask him, I beg you Don't embarrass me, motherfucker. Really throwing a country twang on it, which just displays how wild the dynamic on this track is. You have to wonder, why is Sabrina putting herself through this?

There is a recurring theme that starts with this track, because throughout much of this record, Sabrina is preoccupied with the perceived intelligence level of her partners. I mean, on the same song, she literally asked this guy to not stupid in front of her, and she digs in on this point so persistently. It makes her seem like a jerk. Like on "Sharpest Tool", she obviously kicks the entire track off with a line about this guy not being the sharpest tool in the shed. Does she just date idiots? I mean, I guess later on the same track, she calls herself an idiot for not understanding whether or not the relationship her and this guy had was casual or something more. A lot of hay being made over what is just essentially very crappy communication. There have been much more compelling songs written about exactly this issue over the past few years.

The dumb guy narrative continues on to the song "Dumb and Poetic", which isn't really much of a song to begin with. Narratively, there's not a whole lot to go off of, and the structure is very scant, too, even with there being a string swell at the finish. But yeah, I feel like this sad, angsty, singer-songwriter mode is not Sabrina's strong suit on this record, per se. And especially with this random Leonard Cohen shout out. I feel like the writing is very middle brow, again, for a record that is continuously commenting on how dumb the partners in these scenarios are.

The narratives around these tracks get even more confusing when you take the lyrics on "Good Graces" into account. This track is also handily the blandest on the entire record, instrumentally and vocally. It sounds like Nelly Fertado singing over an ambient pop piece. Meanwhile, the lyrics on the song read like a threat, with Sabrina throwing out a warning that you have to stay on her good side, and she's not going to waste her time on you because she knows lots of guys.

Meanwhile, there are multiple tracks on here where she is very provably wasting her time on dudes that she clearly doesn't even really like, is just barely tolerating. So even if on a lot of this record, Sabrina may be batting zero on the dating scene, she still does sometimes turn that into some great tunes and romantic commentary, like on "Slim Pickins", which is a track that stylistically makes a bit of a country shift with, of course, a lot of picked, plucky instrumentation. It's very cute, it's very endearing as Sabrina basically hopes and praise for this idealized man, someone who is jacked and kind. She can't find his ass to save her life.

There's also "Coincidence", which I thought was a major highlight on the record. It's a slick little acoustic cut with some interesting synth bass bits and hand flaps and big group vocals, too, that are quite heavenly. It's got a big Paul Simon vibe to it. I love the storyline, too, as it's about a boyfriend whose interest in her runs hot and cold, depending on whether or not he's thinking about his ex or she's back in town and he wants to get back with her.

There's a similar narrative angle going on with the opening track on the record, though, personally, I find it to be a lot less flattering. There's some '80s yuppie pop rock pastiche going on there, which more or less is fine. The vocals and chorus are solid, too. There's an understandable bitterness there when it comes to Sabrina being upset about her ex being back with his ex. But there's an unhealthy obsession with having left and impression, to the point where basically, Sabrina is imagining herself there in the same room with these two, as if having dated him means she's just hanging on him like a ghost that's haunting him. Yeah, there's one degree of separation between us now. Also, you're going to taste me when you kiss him, which is weird.

That's not how any of this works. That's not how relationships or dating people works. That's just a sad thing you tell yourself when you are unhappy with being replaced. Strangely on this track, it feels like she has more ire for her ex's new partner than she does her literal ex.

There are a few more silly and sexy highlights deeper into the record, though, like "Bed Chem". The instrumental here brings a very pristine pop and funk blend. Meanwhile, the lyrics are just a lot of good humor and over-the-top fun with some flirty charisma to. Lyrics where she's manifesting this guy being oversized. Sabrina Carpenter, the Size Queen, what the hell? Also, the Freudian slip lyrics where she says, "Come right on me, I mean, camaraderie," has to be one of the most insane things I've heard on a pop record this year. Why not punneth me? There are so many weird quotables on this track. I can't hate it.

Meanwhile, the song "Juno" is also pretty unhinged in the best, but also the worst way, as this track is just a very poppy summary cut that is about sexual attraction and a lot of lines thrown in about doing kinky stuff, trying different positions. There's also that very dramatic bridge where she literally sings, "I'm so fucking horny." Jesus. I also love how the track kicks off with Sabrina almost stating what attracts her to this person, that she don't have to tell his hot ass a thing and that he just gets it. You understand things without me having to explain them to you. Sexy. The bar is in hell. Still, though, this does track, given just on how many songs so far, she has vocally been very turned off by how stupid some of these people she's dating is. But yeah, this track, the production on it is killer as well. It's just a very dazzling piece of new wave pop, but it doesn't sound too throwback. It's very fresh, very modern.

Then I'm actually pretty impressed with the writing on "Lie to Girls", which given some of the bitterness and betrayal sung about previously on the record, you could presume that maybe it would go in one direction, but it goes in another, with Sabrina saying essentially in the song that if a woman likes you, you don't need to lie to her or trick her or deceive her in any way.

She will lie to herself in order to rationalize the various things about a lover, about someone who she has a crush on in order to validate this need to stay with him, which... It's very dark and bold statement, which does also tie into some of the tragic relationship narratives explored on her last record, too. I do think the chord progressions and the acoustic guitars do read as very recycled Jack Antonoff pap, but I do think Sabrina's lyrics and the tune she brings to the table does improve things and really sells it.

I do like the track quite a bit overall, but sadly, I do think things take a step down on the closing track, "Don't Smile", where we get a bit of a double meaning in a way. In one breath, Sabrina is wanting somebody who is not together with her anymore to not smile, not be happy that they were together in the first place. Be sad that it's over instead. Also with this track being the closer on the album, you can also be sad that the record is over, too. But in either case, who is Sabrina to tell me how to feel that the album or whatever is done?

The vibe just comes across as controlling and yuck. We're just spending too much time thinking about what people are doing when they're not with us, especially when, I don't know, they've moved on with their lives. It, again, sounds a bit awkward. Awkward to sit through these themes coming up over and over and over. Even if I do like that the instrumental on the closer does weirdly, again, feel a little chill wave.

Overall, Short n' Sweet, I think, was mostly a decent pop record with some very good highlights, but still a mixed bag at the end of the day, as bland songwriting and production was an Achilles' heel on the tracklist, though I will say I do feel like the songwriting and production in comparison with her last record was a marked improvement. In that sense, even if I'm not head over heels for this album, things are moving in a good direction for Sabrina, artistically and commercially, obviously. When it comes to the openness with which Sabrina writes her lyrics, which, again, I think is really what gives her the edge and makes her a special pop artist, on most of the record, I would say this works in her favor, as, again, I just don't think there are a lot of pop songwriters that come across this frank and this exposed in a lot of their material.

However, there are times when Sabrina tends to dig so deep and reveal so much that it becomes just unflattering to listen to, and she seems almost like a little out of the know it comes to how some of this stuff is just going to read, especially when you start picking up on some of the writing parallels between each track.

But still, with that being said, Short n' Sweet, pretty good record, a lot of fun tracks. It's funny, it's sexy, it's tragic in its best moments, which is why I am feeling a decent two strong six on this one.

Anthony Fantano. Sabrina Carpenter. Short n' Sweet. Forever.