He's a turned-around boy.

Hi, everyone. Turnthony Roundtano here, the internet's busiest music nerd. It's time for a review of this new Justin Timberlake album, Everything I Thought It Was.

Justin Timberlake, a man, a name who really needs no introduction at this point, does he? He is easily one of the biggest and most celebrated American pop stars of the modern era, from his years as a standout member of the boy band NSYNC, to his successful transition into a solo career during the early and mid 2000s, which led to "Cry Me A River" Justin, "Sexy Back" Justin. I feel like this music from Justin represents an image of him that's a little frozen in time because his subsequent eras as an artist haven't been quite as definitive.

I mean, absolutely for sure, he tried on The 20/20 Experience back in 2013. I think "Suit and Tie" Justin does certainly make sense as a concept and attempt at something more mature and glamorous, especially considering the time that he was at in his career. Furthermore, I think tracks like "Mirrors" have certainly withstood the test of time, but I still think some of the deep cuts on this album are weak. Plus, the production from Timberland is massively overrated and does not nearly sound as grand and full as it should, especially considering what the record is going for.

While The 20/20 Experience certainly could have been a better project, what continues to throw me for a loop is just how much of a downgrade we were given from there on Justin's next LP, Man of the Woods, which saw him making attempts at doing some country pop and singer-songwriter stuff, too, yet he wasn't fully committing to that bit for most of the record. It was really such a disappointment that I hoped Justin was just going to leave that man in those woods and we would move on to something more exciting and interesting on this new LP here.

Going into this record, my hopes weren't exactly high, especially given the singles. There was "Selfish," and also the song "Drown" was released as a teaser, too. The former features this little drum machine beat as well as some very meek synth passages. Instrumentally, it's very one-dimensional. It sounds like a demo, which is disappointing, considering how good the song at the core of the track is. Then the latter of these two tracks is just about every groovy, melodramatic, millennial pop anthem cliché compiled into one four-minute chore of a song.

It's off these two tracks that I really have no idea what Justin could possibly be going for on this album, outside of maybe just playing it as safe and as predictable as possible, which might just be the sensible approach, considering how much Man of the Woods threw fans off. I mean, even the song "No Angels" feels obligatory in a sense, where it's a disco-tinged dance track where, of course, Justin brings his bad boy sexy side, because there's no angels here on this dance floor. And yeah, as a little dance pop track that's just wee bit horny, it's passable, it's fine.

I didn't go into this record expecting many, if any, surprises. But there are some moments where Justin does go outside of his comfort zone. I was not only surprised about that, but just also at how long this record is at 18 tracks and 80 minutes of run time, as Justin is giving himself very few boundaries to work with and just giving us a buffet of different tracks and vibes. There are songs that see Justin in his sexy club jam bag, songs that see him trying genres he really has no business doing. Some songs see Justin drowning in these corny, flirty one-liners that are only sexy in his head. Some songs just don't really know when to end, as a lot of tracks have instrumental extensions, bridges, instrumental switch-ups. Turns out Justin is bringing sexy back and structure, too.

Look, let's just start with the opener on this thing, which you made us wait six years only for you to kick your new record off with a Drake song, with its moody and low-key beat and comatose, RnB-tinged vocal leads. That's literally what it is. I mean, it's not a bad Drake song, mind you, but it is still a Drake song that for Justin just reads as very performative and self-obsessed, as if Memphis is really that desperate for you to put the city on or something.

Plus, let's also not forget, "I lost my voice like a pastor, faster than a Harlem shimmy. But I guess that's what you get for trying to make heartbreak pretty."' Come on. What?

Thankfully, Justin turns the heat up on the following track, "F**kin' Up The Disco." The lyrics on the verse is maybe trying too hard to come across as slick, but the groove is still going. As a dance track, it washes every other song on the record in this style, especially with its soaring pre-chorus vocal harmonies and nocturnal synth bass licks.

The funky and sexual vibes continue on to the following track, "Play," where Justin is getting a bit more braggadocious and flamboyant. He's giving us a bit of synth funk bravado in the same way that Bruno Mars does on his stuff. "I just want to be sipping all day. Pass that bougie rosé." The chorus layers are a bit heavy-handed around the hook where Justin's doing these weird frustrated descending lines that sound weirdly uncomfortable for him to sing. But the track is mostly fine. That is until the very end where, again, he's trying to be sexy, but he's coming across as just painfully unsexy, saying, "Now I'm going to give you something to play with. Go ahead and play with it." What am I supposed to envision while listening to this? I don't know, just slapping it around. Like, what?

That track is obnoxious, but somehow not nearly as obnoxious as the following track, "Technicolor," which lasts seven minutes. Has no business doing that. I'm not even sure how to fully break this one down. This track as well feels like Justin is playing catch up with a long, trending musical vibe and style. A moody, spacy, RnB Trap Fusion Sex Jam with multiple phases. And while Justin certainly does bring some vocal acrobatics to the song, esthetically, the whole thing sounds so hollow and chilly and stiff, really the musical equivalent to getting naked while it's below freezing outside.

The song "Liar" sees Justin trying his hand at doing a bit of an Afrobeats thing, and the track overall is not too bad, really fits in line with a lot of the major hits in the style these days. The only major shortcoming is Justin's tact in regards to his pen game when he says lines like, "Come on over, help me mess up this bed. Don't act like you don't know what I meant." Even if these lines aren't directly connected, we know what you're talking about. We know what you mean, Justin. You're not exactly subtle about what you want on the songs on this record, any of them.

Meanwhile, on "Infinity Sex," Justin begins to paint himself into a corner, really going back to that FutureSex/LoveSounds era with some quirky disco funk fusion that has a strong bass line and lyrics that read more like a disorienting fever dream than a sexual romp.

Then with "Love and War," it feels like Justin is very much, again, trying to recapture the success of a past ballad like "Mirrors." It's an emotional song of devotion that has a lot of falsettos, but what's making it fall short and feel awkward is that the lyrics and themes of the track just read as toxic as it misconstrues fighting for someone with fighting with them. We're just fighting so much because we're in love, okay?

If you think that's a hot mess, try the track "Sanctified," which is really a nonstarter for me. It's like this trap gospel fusion where Justin's vocals are super muddy, laid out with distortion and fuzz. They sound horrendous. Especially with Justin vocally, hooting and hollering like he's a pastor in a church.

Chugging along, "My Favorite Drug" is thematically a bit on the nose. Again, another show that Justin is running out of ideas stylistically. But honestly, I don't blame him for dropping more disco-sex funk jams because he doesn't sound better doing anything else. This really is his strongest move. And shout out to Kool & the Gang, who he most It definitely pays homage to on the little bass breakdown bridge on this track. It's giving "Jungle Boogie."

I'll stop here for a moment, though, and say, I feel like this track exemplifies maybe the album's only major recurring theme and that's just a very cliché and obvious metaphor for love and sex. Our love is like a flame, which Justin likens it to on the song "Flame," which musically is like him doing just a very bad Shakira impression. Our sex is like a drug. Our love is like religion. Our sex is like technicolor. Our love is like drowning. Our sex is like play. Our love is like a battle, which, yeah, gets kind of tiresome after a while, as does the record's length, because I feel like in the last leg, we're really padding things out.

There are already several other tracks on the record that scratch much the same itches that "Imagination" does, but better, why is it here? The song "What Lovers Do," in a word, is mild, just simply mild. There is "Selfish." Then there's the track "Alone" where Justin's like trying to do a sad boy ballad, really whipping out the weeping violin, please spare me. Then, I guess in an attempt to keep things interesting on the back end we have the song "Paradise" featuring NSYNC, but the results are generic and horrendous. This is like the pop, pap, ballad sludge that gets created at bad writers' camps. No wonder AI is taking over.

Thematically, the closing track on the record does deliver an idea worth pondering, even if it's not one of my favorite tracks here, with Justin asking, "If the circumstances were different, if the life that we lead was not quite so cushy, would you still love me?" Which I suppose is as good a note to end on as any. Though I will say this narrative, this introspective moment, doesn't hit quite as hard after such a bloated tracklist that I really wish was whittled down to its best moments. But even with that being said, the highs on this album are not even that high, and mostly just see Justin dabbling in past successes.

While I don't think this is Justin's worst record yet, it is certainly proof that the Timberlake tank is currently running on fumes. Feeling a light 4 on this one.

Have you given this album a listen? Did you love it? Did you hate it? What would you rate it? What should I review next? Comment down below. Please subscribe and please don't cry.

Anthony Fantano, Justin Timbelake, forever.