Oh, let's get ready to rumble. God. Christ. Hey, everyone. Anthony Fantano here, Internet's busiest music nerd, and beef is back. That's right.

All you guys thought that Kendrick Lamar and Drake beefing, that was going to be the beef to end all beefs. Yeah, there's no better, cooler, more interesting beef than that to ever happen. That's what you thought. You thought wrong.

Yes, you will stand corrected by the end of this video. That is a fact. Because right now, the beef, the conflict, the rivalry that is lighting up the Internet right now is Bhad Bhabie and Alabama Barker. What? Who? Literally what?

Okay, a bit of a refresher and a reminder. Come on, Bhad Bhabie. You remember Bhad Bhabie? Dr. Phil, "catch me outside". Then she went on to have a minor internet viral meme rap career moment. Then went on to do OnlyFans.

Ever since her peak in rap music and Dr. Phil and the OnlyFans cash Bhad Bhabie more or less has been laying low, just doing her own thing. Granted, it's with that usual Bhad Bhabie level of class, whether it be her having a baby or dealing with blood cancer and battling it out with her fans on Instagram about her dealing with that diagnosis while simultaneously still vaping.

Look, long story short, Bhad Bhabie is still very much outside, yet to be caught, very much in charge and doing her Bhad Bhabie thing. Now, another person who is outside in this whole situation is Ms. Alabama Barker. Believe it or not, daughter of Travis Barker.

Apparently her and Bhad Bhabie right now are in the midst of a beef that, I guess, started with Bhad Bhabie's boyfriend, the father of her child, cheating on her. This behavior or allegations of Bhad Bhabie's boyfriend trying to hook up with Alabama have obviously sparked a lot of friction between the two. And the reason I am talking about this is because they have both recently dropped diss tracks toward one another. And let me say off the bat, there is a real apparent gap between the ferocity, the intensity between these two tracks.

Now, look, before I get into these tracks, let me say, prepare to lower your expectations here in terms of any general lyrical quality. Alabama and Bhad Bhabie are obviously not working on Euphoria levels of wordplay and lyricism. Really what the competition here is on these two tracks is which person here is going to out white trash the other. Honestly, it's going to be the one who actually came up in those white trash trenches.

Let's start with the Alabama Barker dis. Alabama, unfortunately, isn't really saying anything that we don't already know or we haven't already heard about Bhad Bhabie a million times. Be it, again, the "catch me outside" references and the Dr. Phil references and obviously reiterating the allegations of Le Vaughn cheating. A lot of allegations going back and forth of each person being a home wrecker in their own way. And it's all done with a flow that is very Latto-inspired, a derivative vibe, I'll say that.

I will admit, prior to this, I wasn't really familiar with the Alabama Barker's rapping chops. But I mean, as far as internet white girl personalities go, it's fine. She's okay. Older Bhad Bhabie tracks go harder. That's certainly for sure.

Now, with that being said, it has been a while since Bhad Bhabie has really been active on the rap circuit. I know it was several months ago that she dropped this, what is it, "Mommy Mode" freestyle track with a visualizer on YouTube, which was okay. I mean, it didn't necessarily signal that it was going to be a big comeback around the corner or anything like that.

But it really seems like this Alabama Barker beef has truly awoken the beast within Danielle Bregoli, and she is absolutely tearing her up on this "Ms. Whitman" song, which I want to say off the bat, apparently she hopped on a variation the instrumental from Kanye's "Carnival", which what's very funny is in response to this song getting out there and gaining as much traction as it has, which, again, we're talking about the daughter of Travis Barker, which there's a Kardashian connection to that whole thing. Which is why it's funny that recently Kanye has hopped onto social media to make a video announcement saying, 'Hey, I was just clearing the sample. I just clear samples and stuff. I'm not trying to get in the middle of this.' It's hilarious to hear Kanye sound more apologetic in the context of all of this than he was after all of his insane racist tirades on Twitter recently.

But yeah, after that trademark "Carnival" intro, Danielle starts going in on the opening bars of this track, pulling absolutely no punches. "You sucked the dick straight out my ass / Who got the upper hand?" Ha ha. She then starts lobbying Kardashian bombs, saying, "your stepmom burnt out / Why she took her sister's second hand?" Wow. Going further to say, "that stanky pussy got you kicked out the Kardashian house."

She also makes the comparison to Lotto's flow, alleges that she slept with ATL Jacob in order to get that ATL Jacob beat for the diss, and then claims she saw a sonogram for an aborted baby that may have been Tyga's. To be honest, a lot of Bhad Bhabie's bars amount to just naming people who she's alleging that Alabama has had sex with, which maybe she has. Maybe she hasn't. It's not very sex positive, I'll say that, especially coming from somebody who has done OnlyFans. I feel like maybe there should be a greater respect for one another's sexual liberty here, okay? That's all I'm saying. Maybe a little less home-wrecking could be going on for sure. But "Wave thus Drac' out the window / God's plan, Alabama", sadly, is a bar.

We have heard similar attacks from Bhad Bhabie toward Alabama in the past. I neglected to mention earlier in this video that she did put out this "Over Cooked" track that was a shot toward her back in January. And for the most part, this new dis over here, I feel like repackages a lot of those same accusations of cheating and pregnancy and so on and so forth, but actually delivers a bit more wordplay and just bars that are a tad bit meaner, a little scathing and over the top.

By no means the nastiest and most vile and most cutting sets of bars I've heard in my life. But if we're simply scaling this beef by the metric of who has been more kind toward the other, who is provably being more white trash in their bars and their execution in their presentation. It's Danielle here by a long shot.

So, yeah, that's the Holy Bregoli at the moment. I guess we'll just have to wait and see whether or not there is a performance of this song during next year's Super Bowl. But, yeah, let me know down in the comments who you think is winning this beef. That would be great.

Anthony Fantano, Alabama Barker, Danielle Bregoli, Forever.