Oh, God. Bam. It's news time. Hitting you with the news.

Today's top news story, Katy Perry. Yes, after years and years of scientific research and billions and billions of dollars in funding, us, humanity, have successfully shot Katy Perry into space. But then she came back down. No. Oh my God. Why?

I'm coughing because of my allergies, and I only have allergies because of chemtrails. I'm allergic to the trails.

Hi, everyone. I'm your newsman, and this whole Katy Perry, everyone's space flight thing, we're busting it wide open. We're going to bust it open, man. Because this is all BS. I'm calling BS on shooting Calin Paring into space. Hey, my wife said she wanted some space, so she went up to the moon with Jeff Bezos.

Hey. So yes, international pop star, Miss Katy Perry has gone into space with five completely AI-generated women as a means of showing the world and women everywhere that women can do things, too.

Now, this is obviously made a big deal of in the history of humanity because women have never been to space before, and that's because it's against space law. The White House won't tell you this, and the Wokestream Media won't tell you this either, but our treaty with the aliens prevents us from sending any women into space because based and red-pilled extraterrestrials are afraid of the woke mind virus spreading throughout their own societies. They're trying to keep it contained on our little fucking toilet of a planet.

So knowing and understanding those facts, a woman could never go to space. And yet over here, the media and Jeff Bezos, red alert. Don't trust that guy. Never trust anyone bald. They're all trying to convince us, oh, look, ladies can do space, too. Ladies could also do space. When in reality, what this actually is is one big trick, billboard, mind control because the big to do while up in space was Katy Perry promoting her upcoming tour with a setlist that when you actually read it, look at the words, look how they line up. "I will destroy men." That's what it says.

Don't believe me? Why did she come out with a song called "Woman's World" if she didn't want to be a woman taking over the world? They're just throwing it right in your face. They're throwing it right in your face. They're trying to make men illegal, so men can't be legal anymore.

There used to be two planets, two globes, circles, a pair of balls. They destroyed the last one, erased human history, and now we only have one ball left. And what are us men supposed just do with one more ball? Now, with the ball that we have left, they want to make it flat, a flat Earth. And we can't do it. We can't let them do it. This is a new world order. This is mind control.

Katy Perry wants your girlfriends to drag you to the new Woman's World Order show to trick you into thinking outside of your manliness. Don't believe me? Why is Jeff Bezos's last name an anagram for zombie? You're going to go to the Katy Perry show and become a zombie, an anagram for Zombie Bezos. Look it up. Look at the letters. It's a mammogram for zombies. They're going to be given zombies mammograms at the show.

Don't believe me? Look at these statistics. Picture, image, enhance. Okay, flip it upside down. Bam. It's Satan. In this video of her floating, this is AI. I could tell from the pixels. There's no actual real proof that Katy Perry was, in fact, in space, much less in space for 10 minutes.

Not only was the flight fake, but also on this flight, Katy Perry got replaced with a replacement Katy Perry alien Bezos ordered a replacement Katy Perry off Amazon, swapped her out, and then she's coming off the spaceship like, 'Look at me. I'm going to kiss the globe. I'm going to kiss the world.' Yeah, that's what an alien pretending to be a human would do. It's not actually a human thing a human does. It's like a joke thing. Something other than a human, impersonating a human, would think a human would human.

Also, Katy Perry talking about her experience on this flight. 'Oh, I'm connecting with the divine feminine and so on and so forth.' Okay, we all know that that's part of your crazy, namby, pamby, hippy, woman mind control stuff, saying God is a woman like Ariana Grande say, When in fact, the reason you're doing all of this is because you're jealous of Casey Musgraves, because she wrote that space cowboy song because they sent spaces into cowboys first. And you're like, 'Oh, well, if the cowboys can do it, the cowgirls should be able to do it, too.' And they can't.

They absolutely cannot. They cannot. It's against space law. It's against Marlborough Man law. Read your Constitution, the United States versus Marlborough Man versus Mars, Supreme Court, 1983. It's already been decided.

So that's going to be it for your news for today. Again, I've blown.... I'm blown... The lid has been blown off this whole scheme. If you want to support my journey with fighting against the things in society that are not good, buy my pills. Buy my pills, buy my liquid. I'll send you my liquid right in the mail. That is until they make that illegal, which supplies are limited. I can only send so much liquid in the mail. The FBI sends me back any package that I put into the USPS if it goes over a certain amount of liquid. So be careful.

That's the news. Signing off. Space.