Hi, everyone. Seethony Metano, here, the Internet's busiest music nerd. And you know what? It's been a minute since I've hopped up on the Reels platform to see how things are going over there musically.
You know, the last time we checked in on some Reels music, it was pretty rough. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, I had nightmares for weeks. But you know what? They have recently subsided, which I figure is a sign to jump back on here and look at some music on Instagram reels and see just how real it gets.
Don't leave that in. Cut that out. Don't leave that in the video. Don't leave it in the video. People will say it's cringe. I can't take another comment of someone saying I'm cringe. My career will be over if someone says it one more time.
But you know what? I'm going into Reels this time with a positive mindset. Usually the music, pretty awful, outright garbage, even. But this time, I'm going to try to see the silver lining in every cloud to the extent that I can.
"Tears in my eyes, closed fist to the sky / If we save these trees, we could save mankind / Except women are more kind. Why do we call them mankind? / I'm trying to expand minds by shifting the sands at time."
Anyone can rap. That's the beauty of rap. Just literally anyone can do it. Anybody. Your mom, your uncle, your crunchy cousin, and the second or third wife and his or their polycule. That's the democratization of art, and it's a wonderful thing.
"Forced to embrace everything stolen / Ever being choked until our last breath / This is the place you go home, and while you're here, you are not alone / If you can be free, try to be loving and loved."
Oh my God, what am I watching? What am I even seeing? What? I can't even begin to dissect this. I'm like, what? Where do I even begin? You have the Hot Topic lipstick. You have the guy in prison who... That guy looks like he should be in prison, but the video is depicting him as like, 'Oh, man, look at that poor guy in prison.' No, that guy has a should be in prison look. Then the chains are on our hands, but they're clearly not that restrictive. Her hands are still very much moving. But then we're playing a video game with the chains? We're stuck gaming? I'm born to play Super Smash Brothers, but I'm forced to play Mario Party. Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean, the torture, the pain, the anguish on this song is, wow. It's something. It is a thing. It's definitely one of the songs of all time with anguish in it.
"So damn funny, make the world laugh / Guess I'm a Ram with all this cash / Dess huh like I'm a king of wrath / Blessed huh with all these sharp plans / Being me is criticized for the world to see."
I don't know if you guys are familiar, but this is Ethan over here. Ethan has been on the Instagram reels rap scene for a minute now. And you know what? I don't think the guy makes the best production choices, but I like his silly little guy flow. That's it. That's how I describe it. He has a silly little guy flow that I feel like no other rapper has. And when you hear this guy, you just think, wow, he seems nice and maybe even fun to be around. He seems just like a silly little guy. He's maybe not the coolest rapper you've ever seen. But this guy, if you invite him out, he's going to be the life of the party. He's going to be jovial. He's going to be a little corked up. Who is bringing it as silly as Ethan right now? Nobody, in my opinion.
"Aliens! Hear our song / To you! Tonight"
All I got to say is, girl, leave the aliens alone. Let them be. I'm not a big UFO guy myself, so I'm not exactly sure if humanity has made first contact with intelligent life from another planet yet. But what I do know is that our first contact, it should not be this. Unless our friend's plan here is to scare the aliens. Nope, stay back, aliens. You don't want none of this. It could work. I could see it, but maybe the aliens are nice. Maybe we don't want to scare them. I don't know. I'm a bit of a glass half full guy when it comes to the aliens. I'm just going to say maybe not do this. Maybe don't.
"?????????"
Wow. I mean, he's got that flow. He's got that grandfather from Hey Arnold flow. Our friend here is delivering that very old auctioneer type flow. You've really got to love the dedication of his friend who is really doing their all to twist the camera constantly just to make it even more disorienting. Honestly, with Death Grips having maybe potentially broken up at this point, I could see this replacing it. I could very much see this being the new wave.
We're getting bangers all of a sudden? We're getting throwback synth funk disco bangers with killer shiny outfits. I'm very much into that. I'm going to smash that with a like.
I'm not one to come on this channel regularly and bully children, but I've said it once, I will say it again. Schools do not give out enough homework. This is what happens when you tear apart the Department of Education.
"I'm a baller 'cause I got that wheat and I got that water / You know I go on the streets to make everyone holla / I got that dope. Yeah, I mix the right ingredients at the store."
😬
"I want that first love, just like that first time / I want them first eyes, I want that first high."
Not like an independent artist, not usually the stripe of exposure we usually are talking about here in this segment on this channel. But I feel like Will Smith has come full circle here in a way, artistically. He really, despite his fame, despite his success, despite even the bangers he has made in the past, "Big Willie Style" is a classic. He really has returned to a platform here that I feel like fits best for his vibe and his talent level at this moment in time. Is this AI? I feel like I've seen so much AI Will Smith at this point. I can't tell if it's a Real Smith or if it's Real Smith or Fake Smith. I guess it's on his official account. It has to be Real Smith.
"I know what to do when nobody else down / Every time I call, anytime I call, yeah / Every time I pray, I go out and ball, yeah / Every time I pray for your Holy spirit, yeah."
Okay, I think this guy is the alien, the girl from earlier, is trying to get in contact with, which, if that's the case, I could see why. I mean, he's made a banger over here, and hopefully, they make that connection and make a banger together later into the future.
"It's waking up, busting your butt, trying to earn a little extra pay / It's taking her out when you get off to the creek for fishing day"
You got to love two old friends teaming up for a who sing flatter competition. Kids these days, they don't get us, older millennial types. This is the thing that we used to do back in the day. Get together, hop on a classic country instrumental and see who's just better at singing awfully on it. Maybe some of you guys are going to disagree with me here, but I think our friend here, Big Red over here, he's the victor.
I know that there's probably some people in the comments who are giggling at our friend Maddie over here for being as quirked up as she is stylistically, but she is locked into that odd groove and absolutely smashing it. You cannot deny that. And the octave jumps on the vocals, absolutely insane. I'm going to say this is another one of those rare Reels Ws, where, yeah, you could see how, esthetically, it fits into that weird uncanny valley quality that a lot of Reels music has to where it sounds close to something that you would listen to but don't. But actually, and I'm being genuine here, right producer, right recording situation, this is a bop. People would vibe to this.
"Were you a fan of the song Rectacular?"
Steven, you know me so well. Oh, wait, his name is Sean. I am a big big fan of the song "Rectacular". "I am rectangular. I feel it in my bones. I am rectangular. I feel no hole."
"I think you're going to like this one even more."
Oh, time, time, time. Sean, that's a tall order! You're talking about delivering unto me a song that is better than "Rectacular". Okay, let's pump the brakes here. Let's not over promise.
"She's going to peel you like a banana / She's going to get on top like a chihuahua"
Okay, all right. I have no idea what getting on top like a chihuahua is or means, and I don't want to know. I never want to know. I want to die not knowing that. So I'm going to stop this right here. Another thing I'm going to say is, I've already heard this, and I already know that I don't like it as much as "Rectangular". Try again, Sean.
"Round your city, 'round the clock / Everybody needs you / No you can not make everybody equal"
That old guy sitting there at the table, he has no clue what's going on. He hasn't even heard a single track off Blonde. He's like, I don't know what's going on over here, but it's pretty good. This guy's sounding great. Okay, I'm going to have to smash this one with a like, too, because holy crap, what the hell?
All right, there you have it. Me talking about a bunch of music on Instagram reels, some highs, some lows, and you're my friends and bros and non-bros, and in between.
Anthony Fantano. Reels. Forever.
What do you think?
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