Hey, everyone. Anthony Fantano here, the internet's busiest music nerd. I hope you're doing well.

Today we need to dive into something that is very important culturally and artistically. It's brand new music from my boy, The Feldman. Yes. Mr. Corey frigging Feldman himself has come out with a brand new song, single, music video for this track. It's like some joke on you track, some track, the jokes, the jokes on you, the jokes on me, the jokes on us.

You might be thinking, Anthony, what is Corey even talking about?

The joke, what is the joke?

Corey is an actor, is a multi-talented musician an accomplished musician, in fact. Corey is not a comedian. What's happening? No, that is true. Corey is all those things.

But as it turns out, Corey has actually been messing with our heads the entire time.

Because if you're a fool and a loser and a layman who does not understand context clues and just is very low-vibration individual with terrible media literacy, you are not in on what Corey Feldman here is referring to as the joke. The joke being that Corey Feldman, you may have heard music he's released in the past, and maybe to your untrained, dumb, foolish, stupid brain and ears, you heard that music and were like, 'Wait a second, hold the phone here, this music does not sound good to my ears. This does not sound like good quality music that I would like to listen to.'

I was once like you, sir or madam. I was an idiot, too. I refused to show Corey Feldman any of his music, Angelic to the Core, to my seven children. But after I listened to the record more, I started to get it because not only are the songs on this record, not only is every song Corey Feldman has ever recorded a masterpiece, but this album, specifically Angelic to the Core, is a master class in not only musicality, but also conceptuality, where Corey is very much presenting unto us the clueless, stupid, unwashed masses, a parody, a satirical mirror that he's throwing up right in our faces using music to show us our own flaws.

And he's like, 'Look at it. You better look.' And I, at one time, being the fearful, cowardly baby that I was, I was like, 'No, no, Coreyori, no. I don't want to look at Corey.' But once I opened my eyes, it was then that I was able to create a turning point, really fix my life around, give up the alcohol, the gambling. I gave all of it up. And now, thanks to that better path that Corey Feldman put me on, I am the melon you see before you today.

Now, everything that I'm saying here isn't me just shooting from the hip. I'm not just improvising here. It's stone cold, hard fact, which we now today have confirmation on with the release of this new Corey song, where he pretty much spells this exact thing out.

Oh, you though Corey Feldman's music was bad? You thought this whole thing that he was doing musically was just some joke? Well, as it turns out, you're the joke. You're the one the joke is on you. You, buddy. You got joked. Because that's what this new song is all about.

Now, listen, I don't want to disrespect Corey Feldman by incorporating his beautiful, amazing copyrighted art into this. Incorporating it into this garbage trash video because that's literally all anything I could create is in comparison to the artistic mind of Corey Feldman. No, I'm not going to do that. But what I will do is I will give you a performance that will accurately detail what the song sounds like.

Okay, imagine a big somewhat distorted, fried '80s guitar, but it's recorded in a way to where it sounds... You're not hearing the amp or the space of the arena. It's being recorded, and it's more just like shitty DI. So it's like... And then from there, it's the vocals. The joke, the joke, the joke is on you. The joke, the joke, the joke is on you. The joke, the joke, the joke is on you. The joke, the joke, the joke is on you. The joke is on you.

Cori Feldman's there with the whole band, the Angels. Everybody's dressed up in '80s garb, like really big blocky neon patterns and colors. You guys may be wondering, what's going on with that? Why is that happening? It's because Cori Feldman is fighting back against the disgusting media narrative that he's just some old, washed-up loser from the '80s. That's why he's there just like, gyrating and ripping his coat open, wearing a Goonies T-shirt. Because you, an idiot who can't appreciate the man for the artist that he is, who's transcended all of that at this point by a margin of decades. You just see him in this pigeonholed, narrowed sense where, oh, he's a Goonie. He's just a goonie. He's a goonie boy when he's not. He's so much more than that.

Corey Feldman's really just shoving it in your face. He's like, 'Oh, yeah, you think I'm '80s? I'm going to be the most '80s thing you ever saw. I'm going to out '80s the '80s that you think I'm '80s-ing.' He does that. He and the band also has on some subtle makeup. It's a little clown makeup-esque, not only because obviously people think Cory's a joke, and clearly he's not. What is going on there is he's also having a Joaquin Phoenix Joker moment where he is. He is going full Joker. He's right there in front of Robert De Niro, and he's like, 'Bam, I'm the lone wolf. I'm in control. Why so serious? I'm not serious. It's a joke. You're the joke.'

And from here, Corey Feldman is just rap singing over chunkier guitar riffs. Sounding amazing in the process and just further displaying that he's not a joke, and people don't take him seriously because they're the stupid ones. They're dumb. They're the dumb ones who are clueless and dumb and stupid. You're stupid and dumb if you're not taking Corey Feldman seriously or if you look at him like a joke. If you think he's a joke, it's because you see yourself in the parody of mirrors he's creating and putting in front of your face.

That's the thing that's magic about Corey Feldman and the art that he presents us through the world of the Angels. Everything that you ever disliked about yourself, you see in Corey. So when you hate Corey, when you make fun of Corey, when you look at Corey as a joke, you're hating and disliking and joking on you. This is what Corey is trying to tell us. All truth and love and glory to Corey.

Then further deeper, more into the track, Corey shows us, again, how much of an astute student he is when it comes to conceptual art, when it comes to popular music and popular art, because there's this whole section with these changing guitar cords, a little keyboard in the background, too. Just killer arpeggios. He's saying like this. It's very mysterious. It's very strange. And if you're paying attention, very Bowie, going full Ziggy Stardust in this transition. And it's a sight to see because it's theatrical. He's glamming it up. It's a part of the show and the performance, the performance that a lot of people, sadly, are not getting.

It's at this point in the song and music video that Corey further works parody an artist three together and shows us this little bit where he's dressed as Michael Jackson doing a little pirouette, a little spin, which a lot of people like to compare Corey Feldman to Michael Jackson, which I think is a little off base and quite dismissive. So he's dressing like him, which is something completely unlike Corey Feldman. Corey Feldman would never, ever, ever, ever dress like Michael Jackson, wear any outfit that is Michael Jackson adjacent. He would never do any Michael Jackson dance or sing in a way that is anything like in a way that Michael Jackson would sing. So any and all comparisons to Michael Jackson are unwarranted and nonsensical and completely insane and made up. Don't you dare ever in a disrespectful way, compare Corey Feldman to Michael Jackson, and don't you also dare Google Corey Feldman, Michael Jackson, looking for images where he's dressed like Mike and wearing outfits like Mike and acting like Mike talking about Mike and so on and so forth. It's not out there and it doesn't exist. If it did, then you would have caused to think like, okay, maybe Corey Feldman is like, ripping the guy off a little bit and he's obsessed.

But that information and those images don't even exist. So of course, Corey, in the video is dressing like Michael Jackson to make fun of everybody who is bringing that up over and over and over stupidly because there's literally no evidence for any Corey Feldman-Michael Jackson connection comparison, anything. It's all just made up. It's all stupid. So I like that Corey is calling out the dismissive Michael Jackson comparers out there because they need to be taken down a peg. Really, really peg them good.

From there, we get more wild guitar, wizardry, more course, the joke, the joke, the joke is on you. Powerful vocals from Corey. And then, hilarious, the actual joke. If any part of this video is joking, there's a nice little heartening, cute little bit at the end where Corey is talking with another fellow incredible, highly influential artist, none other than Fred Durst of Limp BIzkit Fame, who in his heart of hearts, used his talents as a director to direct this incredible, just amazing mood piece of a music video. Corey and Fred are obviously having a funny little prepared aside where Corey's like, 'I love the video. You're amazing. This is so good. But this is Michael Jackson outfit. I don't know about this. This isn't so much me. What's going on?' And Fred, he responds. He says, 'You can't really hear it because the audio is shit, but I think that's on purpose.' You're not supposed to hear what Fred is saying. And Corey is just like, 'Yeah, okay, whatever.' That's because Fred is the media and the audience that's not really listening to Corey's needs and his feelings, and instead is just portraying him. The audience is making Corey dress like Michael Jackson. He's not doing that voluntarily. That's not something Cori Feldman would just do on his own volition.

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. I'm tired. I'm tired of the stupid little names and stuff people call him and stuff that people say about him because he was just in The Goonies. He was in this '80s movie, The Goonies. People are like, Oh, you were in The Goonies? What does that mean? You're a goon, you're a gooner. When me and my friends, we get together and we watch, we do super cool fun movie marathons of The Goonies, we call that gooning. We're like, Hey, do you want to come over and goon this weekend with me? Please, I just need someone to goon with. I don't want to be sitting here gooning all by myself.

What I feel like Corey Feldman haters don't appreciate and understand about the guy is that he facilitates that. He facilitates community and togetherness and is there with his art, with his films, with his talents, making sure that less of us are gooning alone. I used to do that, and honestly, it was one of the darkest times of my life. Yeah, I don't ever want to go back to that. Thank you, Corey. You did it.

It's with that that I want to give this track a 10 out of 10.

It's the greatest song I've ever heard, and it's going to be my song of the year.

Thank you. Goon on.