What do you guys want to do first?

Okay, TP [Turning Point] first, another TP. Even a TPA first, por favor. So asking en Español. I mean, we don't need to do a poll. It's like the vast majority of people are saying TP first. But again, I'm making no presumptions, and I don't want any of you to make any presumptions either, okay? Because truth be told, I have not watched either of these. I haven't. I avoided watching both of them so that I could react in real-time and have a real, true, fresh reaction to all of it with you guys.

So I've not seen any of this, so I don't know how good or bad any of it is. Maybe the Bad Bunny show is terrible. Maybe the Bad Bunny show is garbage. And it's Kid Rock who puts on the superior show. That's why I want to do this blind taste test, Pepsi challenge type deal. I'm the consummate professional here who has to be engaged, watching the content, commentating in real-time. But if any of these shows are new to you, I implore, maybe close your eyes for the duration of at least part of these performances and get a sensation through your ears which one is actually better and more pleasurable to you.

Because, listen, I'm unbiased here, guys. I'm unbiased. I do think there could be a chance that Bad Bunny's dashing good looks bias you more in his direction and veer you away from appreciating what Kid Rock and company are doing on stage. Bad Bunny, I mean, talented musician, there's legitimacy behind his hype, his popularity, but he is a pretty face. I don't want you guys to be completely won over simply by just that. Think about that. Just consider it. Food for thought. I've qeued this up to a point where Austin has told me is where the show starts. I mean, the whole thing is an hour and 16 minutes long. But again, I've been told that the show... Okay, so it's a bunch of ads, and it's like, "What is TPUSA doing?" Okay, let's see what's going on here, "The TPUSA All-American Halftime Show", which is a very interesting title. Boom, bam.

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to-"

Oh, man, not Jack over here. Not Jack. Oh, my God. Jack off is more like it.

Announcer: "Turning Point USA All-American Halftime Show. And this one's for you, Charlie."

Dramatic. Oh, man, you got to turn on the amp? The production value, man. The production value. Oh, man, we're going to rock. The distortion is up, baby. Oh, God. Okay. Oh, man. Rock it out, man. Just like George Washington would have wanted. Oh, man. The soul. The soul in this. Wet ass P-word. This one's for the Melon boys. America, y'all. America, y'all. Yes. Yes. That guitar ain't speaking no Espanol. Oh, man, they always got the fireworks. Wow. Oh, whoa. The fireworks look so pitiful. It's like they got Roman candles going on back there. 'Listen, liberal, we botted our stream.' Oh, whoa, whoa. What is going on here? A threesome? Wow. A threesome for the anthem? Wait a second. Is that the dude from Korn? Please tell me that is not the dude. Please tell me that is not Head. Please tell me that is not Head from Korn about to rock out with this dude. We're like one riff into this show, and it already sounds like goddamn Ford Truck Month. This sounds like low APR financing. Yeah, this does count as a cringing with. I don't know if this is simply the vocal mix or whatever, but why does this guy sound like he's just singing in the shower?

This is like prime shower singing, number one. That neck is red. Holy shit. That neck is red. Bro is living up to the stereotype. And why is he wearing his granny's quilt? Why did he have his granny's quilt knit into a little button-up shirt. Oh my God, not the brass knuckles on the microphone. What about a microphone stand in the shape of an AK-47? I really missed my calling. I should be in one of these bands. I could sing like somebody got my order wrong at the drive-through, "It was supposed to be a Quarter Pounder!" Oh, my God, the secret Grindr accounts are going crazy in that audience. You know everybody's scrolling like mad. Like, 'Oh, man, I hope the singer's on here. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe.' They're trying to find him, man. At least put your finger in the knuckle duster, Mike. Exactly, exactly. What is it there for? Okay, wait, boss. Did you notice they had the crowd in sync when they all pumped their fist and said USA, and they added the extra crowd noise of them saying USA?

What is this? They livestreamed it, but it's a totally precut, heavily-produced studio performance. This is not live. Every single thing these people do is, on some level, a weird-ass fabrication. It's like they know it, and they just project that onto the rest of the world, and they, in their own minds, rationalize the fact that they're fake as fuck with the bedtime story. They're like, 'Oh, well, everybody else is just as fake as me. They're just doing their own version of it.' It's like, no, man. You're literally splicing in crowd noise of people being like, "USA!", along with a song like, nobody's fucking heard. Who the hell knows the lyrics to this? I mean, not that the lyrics are that hard to grasp because we've heard hundreds of songs like this already. The likelihood that the crowd could just randomly grab onto a USA because they see it coming a mile away is probably high. But hilarious that they had that extra little bit of crowd noise of them going, "USA! Look how on the same page the crowd is with this band that's kicking total ass! USA!"

Not the trap beat. I'm shocked. I didn't think that it could get worse than the last song. This is worse. This is several degrees worse than the last track. This is making me miss the opening song, frankly. Okay, that's got to be it, right? That's got to be it. They cannot play another song. What is going on? What is happening? Please let this be it. Please let's not hear this band again. Or is this going to be a solo thing? Is this an acoustic cut? Is this... Oh, God. For a second, I thought that was Erica Kirk. I thought Erica Kirk was going to bust out a solo. Oh my God. I thought Erica was going to shred. I mean, it still could be. They could pan up right now. It could be Erica. I mean, we'll just have to find out. Look at that figure. Look at that. You hear that? That could be Erica. That's sounding like Erica to me. I know Erica's voice anywhere. I think the light's going to come down. See, she's back lit right now. The light's going to shine down on the front. It's going to reveal Erica, and she's going to shred.Watch out. It's coming.

Fuck. Not Erica. Not Erica at all. Damn it. Okay, because this is not really that interesting and pretty boring of a song, I wanted to just peep what the chat is doing here. "Yeah, yeah, America, America, let's go. Yeah." Wait, what the heck did that just say? "Much better than the NFL. This is amazing. America, MAGA, the best. Jesus, God bless. Heart emojis, roses, salute emojis, prayer, flags." How many of these are botted. Clown? Somebody throwing the clown in there. "Christ, Jesus is king. Christ is King. God bless Charlie Kirk. God bless the USA. God bless America." Wait a second. "This is not Christian music. Corruption 101." This is not good Christian music, it's about being cheated on. "PA is red. Virginia USA, USA, Jesus. Better than anything happening at the Super Bowl, just repeating the course." Yeah, that is what happens. All right, look, we're done with that song, which is fine. I don't really think we needed that track. Wasn't the whole point of this for it to last the same amount of time as the Super Bowl halftime show? If you watch this whole thing, would you not be missing some football?

Yeah, exactly. How is this this long? There was a whole 30 plus minute moment where it was just counting down and some other BS visuals and interstitials. We had this five, four, five acts going on before we're actually reaching the end. The Bad Bunny show is 15 minutes. What is going on? Who is watching this entire thing? How brainwashed and psychotic do you need to be to watch this all the way through and enjoy it? Oh, my God. I almost shit myself there. When I heard that opening rift, it sounded like a really weird variation of Weezer's "No One Else". I thought they were going to break into "No One Else". Holy shit. What Waffle House do they find these people at? This is Jelly Roll after they power washed him. Let's continue.

Singer: "If I tell my own daughter that little boys ain't little girls."

What? What? Oh my God. You've got to pack the anti-trans bigotry in there. You have to. "I'm telling my own daughter, little boys ain't little girls."

Singer: "I'll get up the creaking hot water, this cancel your ass world. It ain't-"

'If I tell my daughter my opinion on trans people, I'll get canceled!' Do we even know who this guy is? Okay, here. Rule of getting canceled? You can't be canceled if no one knows who the fuck you are. Welcome our homie, Kid Rock. What is going on? Okay, we're introducing Kid Rock now. Who are these men? Are these guys on his team? Oh my God, he's freaking out, man. He's freaking out, man. He's freaking out. Oh, yeah, he got to do the mic flip twice. Is he moonwalking? Oh, man, he's got a fresh pair of kicks on. Yo, bro is not even in sync with it. He's not even rapping the words. This is like some studio recording of his voice, and they're cutting to angles of him not even with a mic in his freaking mouth. What is going on? Yeah, that mic is off, dude. That mic is not even on right now.

Okay, that is too good. That is too good. That is too good. Sorry, wait. Again, time. This is like your only song, dude. This is your only song. I should be able to wake you up out of a cold sleep at 3 AM, gun to your head and be like, 'Say every lyric. Like, now. Say every lyric now.' This is like your only song, dude. This is the only song that you need to know how to play as Kid Rock. You've played it at every state fair throughout the south for the past 25 years. What's next? Do another Kid Rock tune? Okay, wait, wait, wait. I saw a clip of this. This is happening now? This happens in the middle of the Kid Rock set? What? Like, I get the lady's outfit. I mean, simple, smoky eye, red lip, black dress, simple, elegant. Got it, right? Why does this guy look like Jack Sparrow? Why does he look like he's in a period drama? What is going on? Oh, that's bad miming. He's barely even pretending to play. Has this man touched a cello before? Can we get TwoSet Violin to react to this? Because they're always pulling apart recordings like this. Can we get TwoSet Violin in the mix here?

Yeah, where's Ben Shapiro? Ben Shapiro can play violin. Why didn't they get Ben on the stage over here? Oh, he's having a great time. He's having a great time. He's killing it. Why is this happening in the middle of Kid Rock? Jack Sparrow, everybody.

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our brother, Robert Ritchie."

Wait, no more Kid Rock? They gave sandblasted Jelly Roll three songs? And just one Kid Rock? What is going on? You're depriving me. Okay, sorry. This is a real name. Okay. Oh, wait a second. Oh, okay. He's dropping the persona. He's doing away with Kid Rock. He's throwing it away. He's like, 'this is the real me.' He's not a kid anymore, man. He's not a kid anymore. He's been rocking that name for too long. Adult Rock. It's Man Rock. It's Man Rock. Yes, the Death of Slim Shady. Mind blown. Okay, so again, he has teased toward this song on the news, on Fox, and has said, this is a new track. It's the best song he or anybody has ever written in a long time.

Fox & Friends host, Brian Kilmeade: "What about this new song? You said it's a new song or a remake of a song that's out there that you're talking about."

Kid Rock: "It's a pretty current last few years country song, and it's just one of the greatest written songs that I've heard in a long time, and I did in a very unique way."

We really got to sit our asses down and be respectful here of Adult Rock because he's going to be hopefully changing the game on this one. We're going to find out.

Kid Rock: "You can tell your old man, you'll do some large mouth fishing another time. You got too much on your plate to bait and cast a line. You can always put a rain check in his hand. Until you can't."

You know, I will say, again, giving flowers here, I'm not that biased. I'm not the most biased man on the planet. Adult Rock here is giving the best vocal performance of the evening so far. With that being said, I'm not really that blown away by the content of this song he has hyped up so deeply, so much. But I mean, the singing doesn't suck ass, and at least he's singing it unlike whatever the hell he thought was doing with Ba with the Ba.

Kid Rock: "You know I woke one Sunday morning all alone with this song stuck in my head."

Oh, my God.

Kid Rock: "And in that moment-"

Stop.

Kid Rock: "Something, someone spoke to me."

Why does he got his thumb in there like a goth kid?

Kid Rock: "They said there was still a verse that needed to be written for this song."

No. No. No.

Kid Rock: "And to get up to write it down."

No way. You know what it's going to transition into? "We are Charlie Kirk! We carry the flame! We fight!" Just watch. That's where it's going.

Kid Rock: "There's a book that's sitting in your house somewhere that can use some dusting off. There's a man who died for all our sins. They're hanging from the cross!"

This is supposed to be his new song that is the best song he or anybody has written in a long time, so he says. I mean, in one breath, again, I will say this is the best vocal performance we've heard so far. And I can respect the grift, like Kid Rock riding this weirdo right wing wave in order to get himself on this stage to be like, 'Hey, I'm going to get my sad, woe is me, tear in your beer ballad on probably the...' Listen, I mean, let's be real. Even with the bots and the botted views and everything, this is the biggest stage Kid Rock is going to be on. Didn't his whole big show with multiple openers just cancel or close up because people don't want to be associated with him. So this is the biggest stage Kid Rock is going to be on. If he really has a feeling about this song, it's going to be the biggest point of exposure this track is going to have to any crowd of people because it's either going to be that or the county fair circuit, and it's going to get way more exposure here than over there. I could see the angle that he's playing here, although I don't know if it's really going anywhere from here, even if he has gone from kid to man.

With this crowd, he probably has a better chance of playing that song from the Osmosis Jones soundtrack that everybody's talking about, where he talks about liking girls who are underage. I feel like that's probably going to play to the GOP crowd better these days than whatever he's doing here, honestly, because he does not read. Nobody's buying the Kid Rock reading grift. Let's carry the flame over to the Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny.

Let's see how it goes. Band for band. How are we doing here? Can Bad Bunny put on a better show in a fraction of the time that TPUSA just had to do their thing? I don't know. It's a challenge. Benito and the Super Bowl might be up to it, but you know the way corporations kill art and free expression? Now, they probably had a really good show cooked up, and they're like, 'No, cut it in half.' He's like, 'Oh, but wait, the TPUSA show, it's going to be allowed to be 40 minutes.' 'We don't care!' '15 minutes? Why 15 minutes?' 'Okay, now it's 13 minutes and 41 seconds just because you complained.' Let's see what they do in this time frame.

Okay, let's do it. Again, I'm yet to see this, so I'll be reacting to this in real-time. So let's go ahead and do it.

Yo, was that Pedro [Pascal]? Was that Pedro in the crowd? See, they got all the lyrics going on in the background, so the gringos can read along, which is cool. I appreciate that. Also, I like his outfit a lot, like cream-colored football jersey with the tie. It's a very like oldie time sport Ralph Lauren catalogue energy. I appreciate it. Is anybody here dressed like a pirate? Please tell me there's at least one guy dressed like he's in Pride and Prejudice in this string quartet. I feel like that's necessary at this point. You need at least one guy to hold it together. Good for them. That's bragging rights for life. Getting married at the Super Bowl? At Bad Bunny Super Bowl? That's bragging rights for life. Lady Gaga? Okay, wow. I knew she was coming, but I didn't know she was going to pop out. Let's go. Yes, Lady Gagita. In this show, in this show. Let's go. I didn't know Bad Bunny's Super Bowl performance was going to involve fixing "Die With A Smile", like one of the most boringly produced pop songs to ever top the charts in years. Now we're getting a salsa version and it rocks. Okay, thank you. Thank you, Bad Bunny. Thank you.

I apologize to Man Rock, who really did kill it vocally during the TPUSA performance. This is a much better live vocal that we're hearing here. Maybe it wasn't that much competition to begin with, but Lady Gagita is very much outperforming Man Rock, sadly. R. I. P. Man Rock.

Yeah, the camera work is good. I mean, it's chaotic. They're trying to capture a lot of... There's just so much going on at every angle. So I imagine it's probably overwhelming, deciding what to focus on, not just the camera, but the director, too, because as the director, you're in the studio, you're probably watching the views of maybe four or five different cameras, and you're telling people on the switchboard, 'Go here, go here, go here, go here,' or something, in order to focus on certain things. I mean, I'm sure much of this they've planned out in advance, but it's still a lot to keep track of. There's a lot going on. Ricky Martin, for anybody who's as old as me, you remember this first Latin wave and the way it was taken over the radio, even before Daddy Yankee. This is before all the reggaeton and everything like that, all the Latin pop that was going crazy on the radio around when "Livin' la Vida Loca" was topping the charts.

Okay, wow. Wow. Beautiful, fun, vibrant, exciting, and most importantly, live, pulling all that off flawlessly. Most watched Super Bowl ever, eh? I mean, Bad Bunny has so many international fans, which also, I mean, it makes sense. But it was a great show. It was a great performance. More pro-America, weirdly. Well, I mean, whatever it was, it wasn't faking it like Kid Rock was. It's not performatively giving you this grievance crap about like, 'Oh, man, I'm not allowed to catch my fish. I'm not allowed to feed my dog because the liberals are going to stop me? Oh, no.' So it was definitely more authentic. I think it's a vision of what America should be, just accepting and understanding and open-minded. Oh, man. I love how the TPUSA have to be like botting. There's no way this has 28 million views, and the other video is just like, dragging behind with also 20 million views on it. Who the fuck is watching that bullshit 20 million times?

On the football it said, "Together, we are America." Yeah, no, that's great. Man, killer performance and great medley of songs from the new album. And also Lady Gaga, little Daddy Yankee, Ricky Martin in there, too. Really good stuff. Really good stuff. "Great in his 'Running Out to Walmart' ass outfit" [from chat]. That was not what that outfit was. Don't play with me. I already talked about that outfit earlier. That is very much like oldy-time, sporty Ralph Lauren catalogue fit, is what that was. Oh, "I meant Kid Rock" [from chat]. No, Kid Rock does have a Walmart fit on. This, however, was really invigorating and fun, and actually fun. It makes me want to listen to the Bad Bunny record again. Yeah, Green Day performed earlier from what I heard, and I saw some funny comments about or headlines saying like, "Oh, Green Day didn't even do anything political," but they played "American Idiot", from what I understand, which that's the political song. But it's been played so long I feel like a lot of people don't recognize it as being what it is, but it's whatever.

Again, thank you guys very much. It's been a fun stream. It's been a good time. I think Bad Bunny won this one. But maybe next year, if TPUSA tries a little bit harder, just puts in a little bit more effort, just a smidge more energy, maybe they'll outdo the Bad Bunny show next year, or whoever they have playing in 2027. All right, we're going to call it a day here. See you all later. Bye.