Intergalactic metal warriors GWAR have unleashed a new coffee brand that is, quite literally, out of this world.
Partnering with Concepts Cafe and Coterie Coffee Co., the band's Beserker Mode coffee brand is said to be as brutal as their music and stage show. That sets the bar pretty high considering the likelihood of, say, getting ejaculated on during their live show.
A release party is scheduled from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. April 5 at the band's GWARbar in Richmond, Virginia, which will include plenty of brewed coffee and a photo contest with GWAR shirts.
From the press release:
Roasted high on a pyre of smoldering destruction, Berserker Mode is a bold, bodacious java, savagely sticky with muddy molassesness and foul-fruited candy sweetness—a real teeth-grinder of a roast. This isn’t your average morning pick-me-up. This is coffee forged in legend, powered by Blothar the Berserker’s grievous wrath, and brewed for only the mightiest of warriors.
According to ancient lore, Blothar the Berserker—frontman of the greatest shock rock band in the history of the universe, GWAR—once roamed the icy seas in a Viking longship. Lost and alone, he was lured by a green, split-tailed mermaid, her siren song calling him to the Indonesian archipelago. But his love was unrequited, and in his sorrow, Blothar wept like a 1000-pound baby.
From his bitter tears, coffee plants sprouted across the land of Java. And thus, Berserker Mode Coffee was born—a heady and powerful drink, crafted to fuel his rage before battle. Historians may claim Viking berserkers were jacked up on psychedelics, but GWAR knows the truth: it was coffee that drove them to insane battle-lust!

Frontman Blothar the Beserker states:
"The best part of getting blackout drunk is Berserker Mode Coffee. Each sip is infused with the bitter sorrow of unrequited love and that nagging feeling that something really weird happened last night. Berserker Mode Coffee is a savage brew fit for shock rock royalty. I sure feel like the King on my throne after sucking down a pot."
Longtime bassist Jizmak Da Gusher also states:
"Hey, it’s me JiZMak, come on down to the GWARbar and try the Berserker Mode coffee on Friday. 5-9pm. Meet the band, empty your wallets and taste the second best thing you’ve ever had in your mouth. A nice fresh cup of GWAR Berserker Mode coffee is all I need in the morning before the day’s battles. And, also bacon, sex, memes and drugs, mostly."
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