Rila Ogawa, vocalist and guitarist of the emo band Febuary, has accused Kind of Like Spitting frontman Ben Barnett of grooming and making inappropriate sexual advances.

Ogawa came forward on her Instagram Stories, sharing a Google Doc that included a timeline of their interactions as well as screenshots of text messages. Febuary, a rising screamo band from Las Vegas, are slated to play Best Friends Fest this year and were also recently added to the 2026 Coachella lineup (Day 1). Kind of Like Spitting, who formed in 1996 and were a prominent emo band in the early 2000s, recently announced a new EP titled I DO IT FOR MY CITY, out October 3rd.

According to Ogawa, she first reached out to Barnett on Instagram as a fan, never expecting a response. Instead, Barnett replied and even sent her a demo of a new Kind of Like Spitting song. From there, their conversations grew, initially centered on music, with Barnett offering to record Febuary’s album at his home studio in Portland. At that time, Barnett was in his 50s and Ogawa was “a third of his age” at 19, as she notes in her statement.

Ogawa says the tone of their communication shifted when Barnett’s messages began taking on a sexual edge. Screenshots show him responding to her selfies with comments like, “you know your thirst posting right?” and “I literally said ‘oh fuuuuck you!’ out loud when I saw that.” While Ogawa says the remarks made her uncomfortable, she downplayed them at the time because Barnett was one of her musical idols.

According to her, the advances escalated: he offered to “proof” her thirst traps, suggested she was a cam girl, and even went into detail about how cam sites work, saying, “Well… I’ve seen how it works. Most models have a toy in and then it goes off when they get tipped…” followed by, “Fucking sign me up for the VIP room homie.”

In her statement, Ogawa also recalls Barnett once referencing a former student who had accused him of grooming, telling her he wanted to use their conversations as proof he wasn’t a predator: “I’m just not a predator or groomer and I KNOW you could spot one a mile away.”

The situation intensified when Febuary traveled to Portland to record with Barnett. Ogawa describes the sessions as “extremely demanding,” claiming Barnett frequently yelled and raged at the band, to the point that their drummer broke a pinky. She says the sexual advances continued inside his home, which led the band to make a pact that no member would ever be left alone with him. Eventually, they left early, having paid Barnett but with little recorded material to show for it.

Ogawa closed her statement by explaining why she decided to speak out against Barnett now:

"I will no longer be silent. Everything he has said and put me through has taken a toll on me mentally. Sometimes I can't sleep at night, thinking about how naive I was. How stupid I was. I blame myself for what happened every day. I can't even go on social media without seeing my mutuals or people online praise him and his work. He is a narcissist, a predator, and a groomer. The fact that I'm not the first person he's done this to scares me. I wouldn't want any person to go through what I did. For months I felt as though I should shield him, protect his image. I am ashamed that this happened to me, but I can not protect him any longer.  This has made a strong impact on my life as a person, and as an artist. I am scared to see him at any future shows I have, I am scared to meet people connected to him, I am absolutely terrified posting this.

It has been getting worse over time, especially getting closer to Best Friends Forever fest. 
I am scared to be at the same festival as my groomer. I am even more terrified at the thought of young impressionable fans going up to him as I once did without knowing how he really is.

I hope in sharing my story, no one else falls  victim to Ben Barnett's actions. Possibly encouraging others to speak out about their stories as well. "

Barnett shared in response on Instagram Stories stating that the allegations are false and will address in full shortly, stating:

Heartbreaking and really brutal. Will adreas [sic] in full shortly. I'm aware of the doc and the insinuation I had alterior [sic] motives is just not true. Actually pretty disgusting. I never did anything but support and help them. Full stop.

[via Lambgoat]