Hi, everyone. Anthony Fantano here, the internet's busiest music nerd. It's time for a review of the new Lil Uzi Vert record, Eternal Atake 2.

Here we have a brand new record from Philly rapper and singer, Lil Uzi Vert. What we have here is technically their fourth studio LP. Though looking just simply at Uzi's official album catalog would give you a very limited perspective on their career and cultural impact. Because while Uzi is undoubtedly one of the biggest rappers to break in the 2010s, I think their mixtapes and standout singles have always been a better representation of the sound and general appeal of their music as pretty much all the albums to one degree or another showcase Uzi's lack of versatility, vision, as well as technical ability.

Because – Hot Take – I don't think Uzi Vert has crafted a single full-length album so far that is just incredible front to back. However, this is no reason to entirely count Lil Uzi Vert out because they've still been at the forefront of numerous waves to take the rap world by storm over the past 10 years. Like with the early beginnings of SoundCloud rap in the mid-2010s or Emo Trap with the banger single "XO Tour Life".

Uzi has also been heavily influential within the lanes of rage as well as psychedelic trap, and most recently with the track "Just Wanna Rock", Uzi was hugely influential on all of these driving Philly and Jersey club beats being as big in the mainstream as they are currently. While Uzi Vert may definitely be very much a style over-substance artist, when the style is on point, it's on point and its influence is felt immediately.

With that being said, I did enjoy quite a bit of their last full-length album, Pink Tape, which dropped last year. The tracklist on that one may have been weird and messy in some pockets, sure. But still, it was admirable that Uzi was going into this album doing pretty much whatever the fuck they wanted. As much of a hair-brained idea as that System of a Down, "Chop Suey" interpolation track was – that was an admirably gutsy move. And on top of it, there were other experimental moments on pink tape that actually panned out. And I was hoping this sense of adventure would come to define Uzi Vert projects that were coming further down the pipe.

However, my hopes for that weren't super high, given that this new project here is the sequel to an album that only came out several years ago at this point, which is a little premature, I think, or maybe not quick enough.

I mean, it's not like the music on this record is a literal continuation of the vibes and sounds that were conjured right there in that moment when the original Eternal Atake came out in 2020. Uzi hasn't even really allowed for enough time to pass so that we legitimately get like, nostalgic about the Eternal Atake era. Plus, I feel like the label stress and hype and anticipation of that record is actually more memorable than the music itself.

Look, if you're searching for an Eternal Atake justification within the content itself on this record here, you're going to be disappointed because the material on this album definitely does not even begin to hold a candle to the original, which is weird, in my opinion, because it's not like the bar was set massively high in the first place. I mean, the spacey otherworldly synthetics that defined the production and sounds of the first Eternal Atake aren't really here. Or if they are, they've mutated into something hideous, unpalatable and annoying, like on "Black Hole" and "We Good" and "Meteor Man" and "Paars and the Mars" as well as "She Stank", which saying She Stank in a way that makes it sound like you're saying Coochy Stank is not really that clever of a play on words. Frankly, it's tacky even by Lil Uzi Vert standards.

There are just numerous tracks on this thing where Uzi can't seem to get a firm grasp of the tempo or the groove of the instrumental. It causes me to wonder, are they even listening to the production as they're rapping on top of it? We just have incoherent flows, sloppy performances, mediocre vocal melodies. Plus all the grating inflections aren't really helped by the overabundance of autotune that is just very pitchy, very ughhh.

Look, for the sake of saving time, I will say a good first third of this album is just unlistenable point-blank period. Even "Light Year", which has a very cool Philly Club switch up around on the chorus, sees Uzi really rushing on the beat tempo-wise. There's not really a comfortable pocket that they're sitting in on a lot of these instrumentals. Plus the Big Time Rush feature on the track "The Rush". It wasn't really a feature, but a very awkward intro. And all the nonsensical vocal pitching on that track just doesn't really do anything for the appeal of the song. It doesn't really bring those psychedelic or surreal feelings that many tracks from the original Eternal Atake were shooting for. Rather, it just sounds like Uzi Vert dicking around while high with some vocal effects. Plus, let's be honest, with the whole bit of this track, like "I'm Big Time Rush", so on and so forth, this was something Lil B did way better over a decade ago. Not to mention the closing track "Space High" is packed with flows that Migos already perfected in the middle of the 2010s, with better choruses, I might add, and instrumentals that featured better pacing.

I do think things start to smooth out a little bit around the midpoint of this project, but even the best spots feel like something Lil Uzi Vert has pulled off better in the past. Be that the somewhat sharp and catchy "Lyft 'Em Up" or the super distorted "Chips and Dip", whose production I think would have hit a lot harder in the SoundCloud era.

Then deeper into the LP, Lil Uzi Vert tries to really settle into their more RnB side with "Chill Bae", which I do think has a smoother ride than most the tracks on this record for sure, especially with that standout vocal melody that slaps you right in the face from the jump. But the track doesn't vary that much from when it begins, and I feel like what melodic aspects of it that are respectable get staled out before the song is even over.

On "Goddard Song", you could not pay me to sit through Lil Uzi verse, straining their way through, or whatever the hell is happening on this chorus. And while "Perky Sex" is most definitely one of the most melodic and coherent songs on the entire record, it's still a bit much for a track that's just essentially about fucking on percosets. I mean, yeah, the group vocals and glossy keys on the song are really the prettiest moment on the entire record, frankly. But also, I mean, the bars and just the topic of the song is grossly unserious. I think like maybe the track could have been helped along a little bit if there was, I don't know, maybe a bit of a nudge or a tongue-and-cheek element to it. But honestly, with Lil Uzi Vert, their tracks tend to not so much work in layers. Pretty much what you see is what you get.

We also have the very lovesick "Conceited" toward the very end, which I think is an extension of Uzi Vert's emo influences, especially on the chorus. However, I wouldn't say this track is one of their best in that lane or genre-defining, anything like that.

But yeah, pretty much after spinning this project, I came away from it thinking, what was even the point? It's hardly catchy. It's not really all that memorable. It's not esthetically defining in any way. It's not really seeing Uzi Vert travel into any new or exciting territory. There are a load of tracks on this thing that are so sloppily executed that they're just, again, totally unlistenable. It's almost like Lil Uzi Vert forgot how to rap or sing or make music for a few cuts here.

Really, the only purpose this record actually serves is to remind us how much better Lil Uzi Vert was four years ago, because this is definitely not them at their creative peak to say the least, which is why I'm feeling a strong 2 to a light 3 on this one.

Anthony Fantano. Lil Uzi Vert. Forever.